Benjamin Marks has written this in the third person because it:
Marks is a professional comedy writer, so his jokes are not only at the victim’s expense. He knows how to cope with your special occasion and request, because to him they are nothing special at all.
Marks is an authority on humour. He is the person who says what’s funny and what’s not. He oversees the set-up of jokes and the delivery of punch lines. He implements gag orders and fulfils outstanding ones. He is the doorkeeper of knock-knock jokes, the guiding light of dark humour, the moral conscience of nonsense verse, and knows slapstick like the back of his hand. In fact, he was the inspiration behind the naming of the Melbourne Comedy Festival.
Marks knows how important timing is to comedy, always finishing his projects on time.
Marks writes clean comedy, so if the audience finds it otherwise, it’s their fault.
Marks understands current tastes, and, as long as he is alive, promises to never write old jokes.
Marks writes neatly-tailored material, carefully hand-typing all his work.
The world is full of sinners, and, for a comedy writer, Marks blends in seamlessly. Nothing is perfect, so his comedy writing is perfect for any occasion.
Marks has left such a lasting impression on the world, that if he were to disappear, the world would stay the same. He is so fondly remembered that when he does go, no one will be sad.
Marks is too busy to deal with your rejections, so if you would reconsider them before sending them in, or not bothering to, he will do his best to help you out, should he find the time, and consider you worthy. Otherwise, he wishes you all the best with your career and better luck in the future. Do not be discouraged; remember, you are only one decision away from success.
Marks, being a writer, gets no work wholly from word of mouth, putting him at a disadvantage to speakers, who should compensate him for the disparity.
Marks is The Only Comedy Writer to Have Seen Every Film and Read Every Book, and the only comedy writer with that title.
As you can see, Marks provides the complete comedy writing package, even writing his own testimonials.